Mutant Worms...

Lately we have had an infestation of worms. Apparently they have decided that our apartment is better than the dirt outside. I hate these worms. They were not invited into my home. I did not tell them "Oh yes, of course I understand it's wormy time and you need a place to crash." No. They are uninvited and unwanted.

At the beginning I would freak out and my wonderful husband would come to my rescue. Now...now I'm just pissed off. I've started killing my own worms with a vengeance (haha this reminds me of another story, but that's for a later time). I have started to yell at these worms...I'm pretty darn sure they are telepathic so sooner or later my obscenity filled threats will reach their little ears...or minds...whatever. The moment I see them I give them their threat, squish them in toilet paper, and flush them down the toilet.

Today marked a new strategy for me. I saw one of these mutant worms slithering across my carpet. I like to think that it could see me and started to scream little wormy words of panic. I knew I didn't have time to run and get toilet paper and as they "crossed" me early in the morning (meaning 11am...don't judge.) I knew I had to take this little sucker out in a different way. Then my cruel little eyes spotted a pair of scissors. (Yeah...you know where this is going don't you...lol) I simply said "I told you not to come here. I told you." and snip...snip...snip...snip. I cut that worm into four pieces and left him/her there for as harsh reminder to the other worms of what their fate will be.

Right now there is a lonely worm on the wall. It's too high up for me to get it, but I'll wait. I'll wait for it to come just close enough...

I see you worm. I can see you high up on my wall. I'll get you and all your little worms too...