Jesus Salt...

So I've been cleaning out the cabinets to our bathroom. Oh yay! I don't have a lot of boxes to start packing everything up so I've decided to clean out and organize everything so when the boxes come I can just pack up my neat organized piles.

Lurking in the back of the bottom cabinet there sat a tiny plastic bottle thingy. It was bought out of sheer desire to shut up the salesman and well...it made my hands smooth. Can you guess? It's that Premier Dead Sea Salt stuff. Yes, sadly I am one of those pathetic Dead Sea Salt owners. I hang my head in shame.

This conversation was a result of my husband noticing this evil purchase...

N: Oh, come on, time to use the sea salt!
M: No! hahaha!

N: No don't get your hands wet yet, they have to be dry to get it out of the bottle or it will all get wet.
N (in a super religious/annoying voice): This is Dead Sea Salt, Jesus walked on this salt. This is Jesus salt. Make sure you wash with it well, Jesus probably saw this very salt, and you don't want to waste it. This salt is very special, it will make your hands feel better because Jesus walked on it. It's Jesus salt.
M: Omg! Hahahahahahaha!

My husband is one hilarious man! Oh, and yes, we have very smooth hands... Hooray for Jesus Salt and a husband that will never let me forget this purchase. :-D

It's Just Another Manic Mon--- Wtf?!

::So I decided that I should add something a little different to my blog. Mondays are tiresome enough so I thought I would try to spice it up with random things I've found. The title that I will be using each Monday is a combination of one of my favorite songs, "Manic Monday" by The Bangles, and one of my favorite sayings, "wtf!". :-D Hope you enjoy! ::

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It's your child's birthday and you are wondering how to surprise your special bundle of lamb joy. Should you buy an inflatable castle, a petting zoo, or do the usual take fifteen tiny teacup humans to infiltrate an already over-populated tiny teacup human playhouse? No. Your child doesn't need any of that. Your child needs something that no other child has ever been surprised with! Guess...go ahead! In your wildest dreams, I'm pretty sure you'd never see this one coming. Well...unless you really hated your pesky little one.



Ladies and Gentlemen...May I introduce you to the new hit sensation:

" Evil Clown, Dominic Deville"!

You may hire Dominic Deville to stalk your child for a week. He will sending chilling phone messages and texts, place traps in letterboxes, and post notes telling your child he is watching/following them. And guess what? All your child has to do is avoid getting hit in the face with a cake. If your child is a tough little cookie and is able to run like hell from the evil clown carrying a cake then as a reward your child will receive this cake on its birthday as a present.

Ooo yay!


Here are the instructions to give your kid:

1) Don't crap your pants.
2) Don't forget to go to therapy after this is all done.
3)Don't forget we love you lots and lots when you turn into a scared lump of nothingness. Signed, Mom and Dad.


Now don't worry. This evil, stalking clown will never break into your home and if your child collapse from fear then Dominic Deville will stop the stalking. No need to terrify your kiddy. After all, every kid wants a creepy clown stalking their every move. It's all fun!

I mean...come on! Little Timmy and Jane really want this guy for their birthday... Go on...make the call. It'll only cost 666 pounds. But hey! who can put a price on their child's sanity?

Wtf!?

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/821591-evil-clown-hired-for-stalking-threats-and-a-pie-in-the-face

Coughing, and Wheezing, and Cracked Ribs...Oh My!

This month has just officially sucked for me physically. The cough that won't go away...the lungs that won't be still...the rib that is cracked...the muscles that can't seem to relax...and precious sleep that is either lost or running away from my tired body.

Oh don't get me wrong...not really looking for a lot of sympathy here. Some is nice though. :-)

I'm just tired. Tired of whatever my body is going through...tired of being emotionally exhausted as well.

I don't believe in the whole "maybe God is trying to teach you a lesson in your sickness". It's a bunch of bullshit in my opinion. Sorry if you believe it...I'm not trying to offend anyone out there. I just don't think that me coughing up my lungs and cracking a rib is God trying to teach me "patience...or perseverance...or trust...or (fill in the blank)." It feels incredibly mean and cruel that a God so powerful would have to "stoop" to such levels... Remember please...this is just my own lil opinion. I can be wrong. I just don't think I am. ;-)

I will say that through all this I have cried. I mean...yes...I've cried in GG with other ladies about parts of my story...but I haven't cried about all that's going on right now...especially about N's job situation. But this weekend I have cried. A lot. And it's felt good. I've been trying to stay strong...to stay sane...to keep my head above the waves (and quite literally anyways cuz I can't swim for crap lol). I've said "I'm fine." "It's all okay...I'm just tired. Emotionally and physically. But I'm handling it." 'It's all good." "Blah blah blah". :-) This keeps me from connecting completely with my heart. It keeps me from going emotionally crazy everywhere. And it keeps from crying. I haven't had any tears lately. It's been hard for me to cry lately (for me...i mean).
But all this body pain has made my tears flow. And it feels natural and good.

I am desperately waiting for something to come through job-wise for Nate. And I have already planned in celebration for whatever job he gets, I am getting a new tattoo! lol. So if you want some ink too we can go out and have an ink party lol! haha.

My "desires" right now are very simple...nothing big...nothing grand... Like for example, one desire is to be back in my own bed. Our bed is soft and oooh so perfect for a sleep-lover like me, but when one has a cracked a rib a soft bed is not a good thing. Too much sinkage. So I've been on the couch. It's a plumb little sucker, but no sinkage...which makes my ribs happy. My sweet husband has even been sleeping on the floor next to the couch just so I don't have to sleep alone. I married an awesome guy! Last night we had an interesting conversation in the dark:

Me: Hey...it's like we're having a slumber party babe!
Nate: Haha. Yeah.
Me: Maybe tomorrow night you can braid my hair and I'll paint your toe nails.
Nate: Ooo goody. And then we can talk about boys.
Me: haha-coughcough-oww-haha. don't make me laugh.
Nate: So sorry... hahaha



I really have nothing else to say right now... So have a good Sunday.

We Love To Laugh!

So Nate and I had the most amazing laugh ever. I recommend that if you get easily offended not to click on the link I have provided....but if you have an awesome sense of humor then click away (I'm pretty darn sure you won't be disappointed). :-)
I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard (the tears are also a result from laughing and in the process landing myself into a well-worth-it coughing fit).

I thank the Sassy Curmudgeon for this hilarious post!

Words...

Word: A sound or a combination of sounds, or its representation in writing or printing, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning and may consist of a single morpheme or of a combination of morphemes.

There are weird words, cool words, funny words, angry words, bad words, rhyming words, interesting words, big words, inspirational words. There are songs about words, songs without words, words that make up songs-- I suppose we call those lyrics. There are words that heal, words that wound, words that trigger, words that give us "balls", words to put us in our place, words to take us away from our place. We can't talk without words. We can't write without words. We wouldn't have book without words. We wouldn't know where to go when driving without words.

Words are tossed to and fro. Words are thrown here and there. Words are used everywhere.

Words: a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning. Words are composed of one or more morphemes and are either the smallest units susceptible of independent use or consist of two or three such units combined under certain linking conditions, as with the loss of primary accent that distinguishes blackbird from black bird. Words are usually separated by spaces in writing, and are distinguished phonologically, as by accent, in many languages.

Now that was a lot of words.

Words.

Do you think your words are worth hearing? Do you think your words are worth being spoken?
Do you think your words have impact? And that your lack of words has more impact than you can imagine?

Imagine a world without words.








Sad. Lonely. Quiet. Unimaginative. You can't even imagine a world without words...without using words.

I struggle with my words. I struggle with how to say them....if they'll be heard or even accepted...many times I wonder if my words will even make sense. But I must admit I love words. Without words I wouldn't be able to write this random blog post. Without words I wouldn't be able to talk. I wouldn't be heard.

There was (and to some degree still is) a time when I had words that could not be spoken. I remember choking on my words. Words filled with passion and desires. Words with longings and dreams and playfulness. Words that would let you see into the brightest parts of my heart and mind and even into the darkest of places. Words that wanted to be spoken on listening ears. But these words were not wanted. These words were not desired. And I still struggle to this day with the lie that says "Your words are worthless".

Words.

I can be very quiet. I can be wordless. But don't let my quiet exterior fool you. It's always a hoot and a holler...a riot...a wonderland...inside my mind. I like being a hoot and a holler...I like being a riot...I like being a wonderland. I like it when I can take those around me to my Wonderland of Words. I find it beautiful when I can speak words to ears that urge me to speak. Ears that long to hear my Wonderland Words.

I wish I was bolder with my words. I know that compared to last year I am bolder. I'm just not as bold as I wish I was.

Words.

I love words. How about you? :-)

Because I never want to "grow up"...

It's happening all the time
When I open my eyes
I'm still taken by surprise
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies
And it makes me want to cry

I love you
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

We were walking there
And I had tangles in my hair
But you make me feel so pretty
You have shining eyes
Yes like those forest lights
And it makes me want to cry

I love you
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

I love you

I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

This place is so lovely
It kind of makes me very happy
Let's go far away to the humming meadow

Brightly Wound-Eisley