What to write about...?

I've been trying to think about a blog post lately... I sat down last week and started writing one out, but my thoughts weren't flowing onto the computer correctly. I knew in my head what I wanted to say, but once my fingers started to type them out it came out jumbled lol. I still want to write that post...maybe I will later. :-)

Anywho, what to write...

How about tattoos? Okay! haha

I have had the major ink itch this year. I didn't get any new tattoos last year and now I'm going through withdrawals... like real bad. Haha! I have all these ideas floating around in my head and I have lots pinned on Pinterest. So far two are set in stone. Another two are getting in the process of being settled on. And I was joking around about one to Nate and he thought it would be freaking awesome so maybe that one will be added too. Hahah. Oh dear. I love tattoos.

They are the expression of my soul. Seriously.  They may mean absolutely nothing to the people in my life, but they mean a lot to me. Each one has a story associated with it. Most of the time I shorten the stories, leave more personal parts out, sometimes I just simplify it to the most basic form, and sometimes I tell the whole story.  Now when I say story... don't think that each one has an incredibly, emotional story. Nope. Some are simple stories. But a story that lets you know me a bit better if you want to take the time to listen closely.

If I had the money I would be covered in ink from neck to toe. I love when I see other people who have tattoos and those who are covered in them. I always want to ask the ones covered to tell me about their "ink journey", but I don't because I'm a shy person around strangers and it would be weird if a stranger asked another stranger that. Maybe not... maybe someday I'll be brave enough to!

I get upset when people judge others with tattoos. I once read a blog post that said that people with tattoos were "rebellious, edgy, and untrustworthy". I got angry at first and then had to laugh. How shallow and sad that someone is too afraid of what they don't understand... if you would just talk to us you would realize that we are perfectly normal people who love life passionately. We take small glimpses of our soul, the good and bad, and display it for the world to see. We risk rude stares, narrow minded comments, and misunderstanding all so we can have a constant reminder of who we are. Now I know that not everyone gets tattoos that mean something to them. I know a lot of people who ended up with stuff because they had a little too much to drink or they were young and "being stupid".  There are plenty of those tattoos regrets. Funny thing is that they still have a story associated with them. And I always enjoy hearing about those... It's still a chance to get to know people better!

I plan on having a bunch of ink on me. And as for the "what happens when you are an old wrinkly grandma?" Well...I'll be a hell of an awesome old wrinkly grandma with my grandkids. And it's not like I'm going to suddenly look like a bulldog when I'm old! Hahah! I will have tattoos when I'm an old lady and will love telling my grandkids about them when they ask "hey grandma, what's that one for?" and I'm going to love listening to their tattoo stories and um yeah, I will be the cool grandma going to get more! Hahaha I can just see myself doing that! ;-P

I think tattoos should be your personal choice. Now I'm all for saying yes when someone asks if they should get one, but I am a firm believer that you should get something that means something to you... something that you want to have on you for the rest of your life. And if you don't like tattoos well that's okay too! Just don't pass judgement on those of us who do.

Anywho, I am hoping this year will bring me some awesome ink. I was planning on going to get two done this week, but I'm going to wait till after Spring Break. Ocean water and sun probably aren't a good mix for a freshly done tattoo. I just like to play on the safe side.

And someday, I'm going to cross something off my bucket list. I'm going to LA and having Kat von D tattoo me. I already have the tattoo picked out. It will probably be expensive as heck, but it will be so worth it. I love that woman. All covered in her tattoos and in her punked out clothes, she seems to show how a tattooed woman can still be a strong, and feminine women. You can disagree with me lol, but that's why this is my personal opinion. I have read some stuff of hers and watched her show and she has such a sweet heart for really listening to people's stories while tattooing. It's pretty awesome to me. I can't wait to enter High Voltage one day and have her do the most awesomest tattoo on my back. And yeah, I'm so getting lots of pictures and hugging her and probably will get teary eyed from all the awesome happening. :-)

Kat von D

Until then I'll keep adding to my "story collection". And if you ever want to know the real stories behind my ink just ask me. I can't guarantee you'll be impressed hahah, but if you listen closely I can guarantee that you will know me a lot better.

Because I'm a spunky girl....

Last night was a fun adventure! Two of my friends and I headed over to Platinum Tattoos late in the evening. One of my friends was getting a new tattoo that symbolizes so much beauty for herself and her story (you can read the story over at There is a Season) and I got my nose pierced. And yes, it hurt for awhile, but the guy did it so fast thankfully! And no, I did not watch...I'm a scaredy cat! Hahaha! And yes, I absolutely love it and so does Nate!

Another One...

I officially have four tattoos now. I love each one because they represent a different part of who I am. One represents my freedom, two represent my playful and geeky self, and the fourth is a reminder of a painful time and the redeeming promises I felt that were made to me.

I went about two (?) weeks ago to watch a friend get a tattoo and then decided I would join in too! I can't help it! I love tattoos! I went with "Isaiah 54" written on the inside of my wrist.

About five years ago I read that chapter and I just felt like God was speaking to every broken part of me. My story would remain hidden until the love of my life came along and a very special lady who sat in front of me and walked with me in places I'd never let anyone in before.
I felt with each word I had read that there were promises for me...hope...and a God I'd never seen, heard, or experienced before.

It's been a shitty year. And for the past two months I finally feel like I'm back...I'm breathing again. It's not been easy to stay here, but I'm fighting like hell.

I stood at the front desk filling out the paper work (and really do I need to sign a paper that confirms that i know tattoos are permanent haha) and I'm wondering what I should do. I finally decided on my promise chapter. It felt right. It felt like a constant reminder of where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going. I love just looking at it. I love how all my tattoos are special to me. They are me.

But.... I'm finding myself becoming very contemptful (is that even a word??) of something that keeps happening more and more. It hasn't happened with everyone, but there have been a good handful of people who see my tattoos and automatically ask "Have your parents seen them?" "What did your parents say?"

Every time I hear these questions now, I bite back what may be a potentially rude comment to the person asking and I smile, shrug my shoulders, and say "I don't know. They haven't said anything."

You see a year ago I got my first tattoo. I found out that day how my father felt. I'm not going into any details here. My mother has chosen to remain silent. Whether or not she cares I have no idea. I haven't asked. I do wonder what they think, but I don't need their approval. If they choose to at least be curious about this then great...I'd love to sit down with them and share my heart. If not...then I can honestly be fine and sit with that.

It irks me now, when someone asks that. I am my own person. I make my own decisions. I'm Mal Arnold. I'm funky, quirky, playful, and imaginative. My tattoos are about me. Ask about me. I guess I'd just like for people to see my tattoos and ask me what it means...ask me about what I think... not about what other people think. People who aren't me. I'm not really sure how to express this...or how it's sounding right now. Apart of me just really wants to delete this and stay quiet. I've always just wanted people to know me. Know my heart...know the real me. I can make that hard for a lot of people, but that doesn't mean I don't desire it. I just want people to see me...experience me...play with me... It feels hard to say that it hurts, but it does hurt when I hear questions like that. I feel like once again I'm fifteen with no voice...invisible and unknown.

I'm proud of me. There is a lot of work to be done...but I see me...finally! And I may not always like me, but I love who I'm becoming. I don't need people's approval of me. That's not what I want here. I just want to be seen. To be heard.

Ask me about me. The road to getting to know me may not always be easy...but I promise it'll be worth it. That sounds rather narcissistic to say...but I do know those words to be true.

4 things I wanted to blog about...

So I couldn't figure out what I wanted to blog about today. So today's post is just some things I was trying to blog about and then couldn't think of anything else to go with it...fail. Haha.

1) I was walking over to the apartment office to pay the rent and listening to my ipod when I suddenly wanted an entourage of people behind me dancing to Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl . I seriously think that if I had a few drinks in me then I would have just done it by myself, but I didn't so I just pretended to dance around all ghetto while singing "Let me hear you say this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!". I wonder if I ever did all my crazy things in real, real life if the magical reality show people would give me my own reality show.

(fyi, real real life is real life outside my house...i really do dance around "ghetto" in my house so therefore it doesn't count and it's not real, real life.)

2) My hubs and I were being real romantic (wink wink) and he totally ruined it with this conversation:

Nate: You're my angel
Me: You're my hero
(pause)
Nate: Hah. That's two of your shows that got canceled.
Me: Wha- Really?! Thanks, now I'm depressed!

Sigh. I get very close and involved with my favorite shows. I watch them over and over again. I cry at all the same emotional spots and laugh at all the same funny moments. I love my favorite characters with a passion and bitch at the others who fail to meet my expectations. Now I wasn't a huge fan of the show Angel, but I am a HUGE fan of Buffy and so therefore I love Angel. Heroes...sigh. I can't even began to tell you how happy this show made me. I literally cried when I heard that they were canceling the show. Rude. So if you like either show please join me in a moment of silence as we reminisce on their awesomeness... and if you don't know about them or don't care...well...skip the moment of silence.






3) I was watching Wipeout and one of the girls shouted out "I don't need to go to the zoo! My man is a beast!". I'm not really sure if she was meaning that as a compliment, but I'm gonna use it as one. My man is a beast...a sexy beast! I really should include a picture where he is looking all suave and Blue Steel (I heart Zoolander!!!), but I think that this shows how much fun we have together and I still think he's a sexy beast. Whoop-whoop! :-D

4) I think I am almost done refining my "celebration ink". I thought I had it figured out and then my tattoo guy pretty much told me that what I wanted I didn't really want. sigh. I hate when they are right. So I hit the drawing board again and now have three things I want and need quotes for... Actually it's only two things, but one of the them is a two-fold thing so that makes three things. Wow! Can you freakin believe how specific I am??!! Hahaha. Hopefully in the next week or two I will talk to him, figure out which one I'm gonna get, and schedule an appointment. Yes. I know. I don't have to schedule an appointment for a tattoo, but I'm very orderly (or weird whatever) like that. ;-P

I am Woman...Hear Me Rawr! :-P

So two weeks ago a dream I have always wanted to come true...came true!! Ever since I was a teen I have always wanted to have a tattoo, but that sort of thing was not accepted in our house so I tucked it away with my other postponed dreams. But for the past two years getting a tattoo has been more of a reality and I decided to let myself dream for that again. It may be a small thing to dream about to others, but I've begun to realize that dreams are something to be embraced no matter their size. I decided that whatever I wanted would have to be something I wouldn't get tired of seeing or embarrassed that it was on me or wasn't somehow a part of me. I wanted something special...unique...funky... something that I would be proud of because it was me. My search for the perfect ink seemed rather hopeless... I finally found a Celtic symbol I wanted, but it was missing something. I asked a friend of ours, Danny, if he would draw something for me.

A couple weeks later he brought me his work and I knew this was it. Suddenly everything rolled in. I found the tattoo, the money to get it was available, the tattoo parlor and tattoo artist was perfect match and voila! I got my first ink!

The Celtic symbol is best know for it being the trinity with a circle of unity wrapped around it... But it also symbolizes for me the past, present, and future moving and working together... it symbolizes equality... it symbolizes my complexity and uniqueness that branches out in beauty and constantly grows... it symbolizes my "rebellious" heart that fights to be different and special... it symbolizes my dreams... it symbolizes my femininity. I love my ink! Rawr!