Okay so I've been seeing the above sentence a lot lately. It's one I've heard many times, but I've just been more aware of different people saying it lately. And I'm going to be honest here...it's been added to my pet peeve list.
This sentence is usually used when people are talking about modesty. Haha. Oh. My. Lord. How I do hate that topic. I have rarely experienced this topic talked about with anything other than finger pointing and judgement. I believe that modesty is decided on by your own personal beliefs and convictions. End of story. You have to make your own decisions and not make them the universal rule for others. Love people where they are at. Whether they are wearing next to nothing or dressed like Amish folk. It's really hard to do, but each of those girls has a story and believe it or not how you choose to dress has a lot to do with your story.
When modesty comes up it is closely followed by contempt.
We either are too modest or not modest enough. We point and laugh at the girl who wears a big denim jumper and point out their lack of fashion. Or we point and "tsk tsk" at the perky boobed girl who is pouring out of her top. Then there's all the in betweeners who get laughed or tsked at all in the name of Modesty's sake. We all do it. Comparison is always about contempt.
I know plenty of people who would look at me and say I wasn't modest enough. I like my jeans to fit me snugly. I also like them long, torn, and holey. I wear sleeveless tops and short shorts. And my tops can vary between fitting me loosely or snugly depending on the style. And yeah, I don't mind a little cleavage. I like the way I dress. I choose clothes that help me feel beautiful, sexy, and confident. And sometimes they make me feel comfy, lazy, and relaxed. They are my clothes. I like them and approve and so does my husband. He absolutely loves when I am feeling sexy in an outfit. I love it even more when he sees me wearing something cute and grabs my ass, brings me in close and...hahah...well...I needn't go into details! :-)
So many people would look at all that and be like "She isn't modest. She's causing our brothers to stumble." And I lovingly and laughingly say back to that... "Frankly my dear, I don't give a freaking damn!" I'm not even going to get into the "brothers stumbling" argument. Lol. It cracks me up and I have some pointed thoughts about it, but that is neither here nor there right now. My husband approves and that's all I care about.
All that to say, I believe that modesty is a personal decision.
But here comes my new peeve -- the point to this post.
"Leave something to the imagination."
So usually someone is saying "You need to dress modestly...blah blah blah...Don't wear blah blah like blah blah...You should always leave something to the imagination."
So what you're saying is...I should not wear shirts past my collarbone or shorts past the middle of my thigh so I can leave something for guys to imagine about?! Haha...in reality this makes me feel gross. I'm sorry I don't want to purposefully wear something that will leave guys imagining what else my curvy body is hiding. I already know guys think about stuff like that. And if your guy says no to that...sorry ladies...he's lying. Right or wrong...he's a guy. And I believe that men were created to admire and long for our beauty.
Now don't get me wrong (if you are sitting in a little pool of contempt please pay attention to what I'm about to say), I completely understand what this sentence is trying to state. I understand it, but I wish they would use a different sentence...a different way of getting their point across. When you really look at the sentence doesn't it make you feel a little...uhh...weirded out? I even asked Nate and he agreed.
How about "leave a few things covered up"...not "leave something to the imagination". I don't know. I just think it's funny and creepy and at the same time annoying.
I love clothes and fashion. I may not be the most fashionable girl, but I love picking
out something that is me...and cute. I don't look for "modest"...I look for "Mal".
2 comments:
youre gorgeous. inside and out. and im so glad you are hoping for deeper, better ways to guide dressing decisions!
I have experienced a lot of shame and contempt when it comes to the idea of modesty. I think the topic lends itself to a discussion of outward behavior, and in that, we miss the heart of the woman. I liked what you said about modesty being a personal judgement. We should be more concerned about the condtion of a woman's heart than her clothes.
Nice post. =) I'm glad YOU look for "Mal!"
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