It's almost 2010!!! :-D

Christmas...Oh Christmas... how beautiful are thy...umm...holidays?? Wow...lame. Haha. :-D I'm not so great making up lyrics.

Christmas has come and gone. My decorations are still up, but I feel that this holiday has been celebrated so well that I'm willing to put them away. N and I enjoyed a beautiful Christmas together. It felt so peaceful and loving and just...Christmasy. Even the kitties enjoyed Christmas! I think each Christmas that we share together gets more and more beautiful. N and I set up a we-don't-go-anywhere-on-Christmas-day rule and we are so glad we did. It lets us enjoy our day together and just relax and...play with our "toys". And when we have kids we can share that gift with them too. :-)

I don't really have much to blog here except that I can't wait to see what this new year brings. Next time I'll be blogging it'll be 2010. Wow! I feel old and sorta disappointed that we still don't have flying cars and cities under the sea. ;-P Happy New Year!

Our Presents!!

So apparently I'm not Snow White...

So I was talking with a friend of mine and she convinced me to write down my very traumatic experience. So I will. :-)

It was a week ago and I was doing the horrible job of laundry. I hate laundry by the way....it's one of the cons of being human. I had taken a break from my domestic duties to play YoVille and was rather immersed in baking and decorating for my little avatar when I got a phone call. My husby was coming out of work early! I realized that I had a load of laundry that needed to be switched over to the dryer (btw what happened to the 2000's being the super-age of robot technology??!! sigh.). So I decided I would do it before N came home rather than later...later=never.

I got up, walked out to our balcony (that's where the w/d is housed) and I closed the door. *Click*. I whirled around and to my horror I saw that when I had closed the sliding door, the safety bar had come down. Tears sprang to my eyes and I kept saying "no...no...no" very frantically while banging on the door. Oh...and to answer any questions, I did not have my phone on me and all I had on was a t-shirt and pair of jeans on. No phone, no socks, no jacket, No Way In. Tears were pouring down my face and I was banging on the door and shaking it and going crazy in my head and not in my head...I was just a crazy woman locked out of her warm, cozy apartment. To make matters worse, I had locked our dead bolt and now not only could I not get in the apartment, my husband could not get in on the other side either. Did I mention we live on the third floor and our apartment over looks an a wooded empty lot. Fear of heights and fear period was setting in at high levels.

I finally know what it feels like to be a cartoon character street urchin. Here I was with a tear-streaked face and shivering looking in on a warm Christmas-filled house. All the lights were off except for the twinkle lights and tree lights. The soft lights bounced off the furniture and ornaments, the nutcrackers smiled in the warmth, and the snowflakes hanging from the ceiling were gently swaying. It was beautiful. And made me cry even more. Suddenly my little cat, Hermes, realized that something was very, very wrong. He started squeaking very loudly, scratching at the glass door, and throwing his body on glass. Poor little guy. Finally I heard the door bell ringing. I started banging on the sliding door again.
*Ring Ring Ring* *Pause* *Ring Ring Ring*
This went on for awhile and then I heard a "Babe?". I ran to look over the balcony and there was my Knight in Shining Armor. He was able to throw his jacket and socks up so I could wear them while he got the handyman to help. Help=drilling a hole into the door to pop the deadbolt open. It makes my heart so happy that my Knight came to rescue me. So romantic! :-) I love you baby!

You know what the really sad thing is? Disney failed me. I mean I have my Prince Charming already and I don't need the perfect little body and big wavy hair...I don't even need the beautiful singing voice. Disney has never failed me. Until that day. Apparently I'm not good enough for the woodland creatures to rescue! Rude! Where were the birdies and squirrels and deers to help get me down...or at least sing me a cute woodland song to calm my nerves while I waited. Apparently I'm not Snow White...and woodland creatures don't love me. Oh Disney...why did you fail me? I have loved your movies since I was a little girl... I have been a faithful Disney watcher... Why me? I still love you Disney... but you'll have to find a way to redeem yourself from this incident.

He can't wait...neither can I!

I was watching The Answer Man and while it was a rather forgettable movie (except for Lauren Graham...she is never forgettable...i love her!!) there were several quotes that stood out at me. I'll probably post them later, but there is one in particular that continues to move my heart and I wanted to blog about it.
Background: The two main characters, Lauren Graham and "The Answer Man" are having dinner and she starts to go to shame while sharing a piece of her story.

LG: "What do you want to hear? That I'm so freaked. That I'm not doing everything I can. That I'm so freaked out all the time? That I'm afraid that I'm not doing enough and that fear is turning me into someone I don't want to be and I can't stop it. You have no idea what it's like to be pulled all the time...by this idea that I am not doing enough. That I am not enough."

TAM: "He knows. And He wants you to know that you are enough and so much more. You are here so that God can experience the world through your eyes. See what you see. Feel what you feel. Everyday He can't wait to see what you'll do. What makes you laugh. What moves you. He can't wait. Everyday through you He falls in love with the world all over again. ...You are His muse."

His answer to her still brings tears to my eyes. It reminds me of what a great God I have. It speaks volumes of His love for me. What an amazing God I have that He loved me before I was born. He loved me when I was born. He loved me when I was lost and then found. He is loving me on my journey. He "can't wait to see what [I'll] do." He wants to see what I see, and feel it with me, He wants to laugh with me and cry with me. He can't wait. He can't wait to live life with me. And no matter how small I feel or how much I let my fears run over me He is there every morning. He is there to greet me in the morning and invite me to live with Him. My life is beauty to Him.

He can't wait...neither can I. :-)

The picture above is a reminder of a "beauty moment". I remember running along the beach, laughing, kicking up the sand, collecting little nick-nacks along the way, running into the water and back out again...etc. I remember seeing lots of these duney things (yes, I have dubbed them "duney things") and wanting to run up one, but my fear of heights keeping me from doing it. Finally after my playful heart kept longing to run up one I decided to "screw" my fear and "just do it". I took off and ran as fast as I could and gave a loud "YES!!" when I was at the top.

I was standing on top of my fear and looking out on the most beautiful beach scenery I hadn't been able to enjoy from ground level. I stood there with the biggest smile on my face just taking it all in. There is a scene in a favorite movie of mine called "Fearless" where a small Chinese village would stop planting their rice when the wind would blow and stand up straight, close their eyes, open their arms, and breathe it all in. It's a beautiful scene that has always stayed in my heart and so there in that moment I closed my eyes, stretched out my arms and breathed in the salty freshness. Beauty. This picture was taken some time during all this. It's a good "beauty moment" for me. A moment I don't ever want to forget.

Quote of the Day...

My brain still isn't awake enough to write a post, but I found this quote while I was going through my Grace Group book and thought I would share it...

"The Love of Christ is a fierce thing. It can take the picture you have of yourself and burn it in the fire of his loving eyes, replacing it with a true masterpiece. When you begin to open to this embrace, you develop eyes for others. You start showing up in the lives of other people. You can be the first to offer love and grace, and not the one who stands needy and yearning on the sidelines. You can see yourself as merely mortal, even silly, but not ashamed. " - D. Allender-

FB conversations, God-sacks, and freedom...

I'm sitting on my couch, listening to Taylor Swift's Love Story and remembering what my heart was feeling just last Wednesday. It's an odd mix of emotions that was caused by something so trivial and pathetic. Apparently it's bad language to say "slut" or "whore" and to make fun of such things is equal to making fun of mentally retarded people. I guess I missed the memo about the new "bad" word. :-) But I found it extremely offensive to compare people in a certain lifestyle to people born with disabilities. Anywho, I was trying to let this woman know that even though she was jumping down every one's throat about a silly quote from a silly movie that I had no problem with saying "sluts" and laughing about quotes from movies, but I did respect the fact that she had a problem with it and she still needed to respect me. On and on the lady went with her weak argument and I had a good laugh about it all. Until....lol... There is always an "until" moment with these things. :-)

She decided to call me into question. She said that she had known me for a long time and also my family and that I had changed and was leading young people "astray" with my "new-found freedom". At this moment is where I sat up straight, put one hand on my hip, snapped my other fingers and said "Oh, NO, you did not!". Hah. I can laugh about it now...not so much at the moment. :-) So I wrote a rather...umm...lets go with firm....yes...okay... So I wrote a rather firm response that told her that she did not know me because seeing someone maybe once a year in passing doesn't mean that you know anything about that person and she had no ground on which to say that I had changed. And what was with that "new-found freedom" bit? I also reminded her about the whole respecting other peoples opinions thingy too. My husband then got on and said this... I have to put it down because it is sooo amazing. My husband is a true protector...

"...And if by calling my wife changed, you mean it in a derogatory way, I will challenge that with every fiber in my body. I have seen my wife grow in Christ more in the last year that I had ever imagined possible. I wish I had as much faith and trust in God as she does, or the gifting to help others in the way that she does. She is in the world, not of it, and trying to reach the people she comes in contact with in truth and love."

So with my husband's words I picked myself back up and went about my day...he even took me shopping when he got home! Then we got back and I had a message in my inbox from a girl who...well...let's just say that we are complete opposites in personality and relational styles...we just aren't compatible. She had made one comment on that whole FB exchange and I just came back with a "listen you never like what I have to say and that's okay...it's our special thing". So this message starts and finishes with "I have no problem with you" and then goes on to tell me that none of my beliefs are Biblical or Spiritual and I am not in the parameters of those who profess Jesus. On and on. I was furious at the end of that letter. I decided to not answer back because it would just become a vicious circle between us and I also decided that she had crossed a line and I needed to de-friend her from FB.

So later on that night...after I was able to let my anger go and just sit in what happened did I realize why what both of these people said made me go to shame and anger so fast. My whole life I've been told that there are rules and regulations to being a Christian. It's all about following those rules and getting it right. It's so exhaustive. I've always wanted more then what they were offering. One day I decided to jump off their boat and swim to my God who hates being put in a box. A God who is loving and redeeming and big and huge and playful... A God who doesn't want me to be in box. It hasn't been an easy road to follow. It's hard when people want so desperately for you not to be free with a might God.
One of my deepest longings is for people to truly know me. And it feels so gross when people who have never had a face-to-face conversation with me assume such false things about me. My anger was only a cover for the hurt that came up over once again being told that I wasn't "Christian enough" and having my heart missed all over again.

At the retreat I went to this week the question was brought up about if God's yoke is easy and if His burden is light. I felt such resistance to that question and immediately started asking myself what was going on. And then it hit me. I'm not sure I know what His yoke and burden feels like. All this time I have been allowing people to throw their "God-sacks" on me and shame me about their own God-in-a-box deal. I still had all those God-sacks on me and was allowing those two people to throw on more. Yuck. It felt so liberating to say that in our connecting time and to realize that I wanted...oh so desperately want...to know what my God's yoke and burden feel like. I can imagine in my head what it looks like, but right now it's hard to describe in words. It gives me hope and comfort though. I am shedding myself of those exhaustive God-sacks and giving myself permission to sit with God and enjoy Him as He enjoys me.

My Awesome Dream Last Night...

Have you ever had an awesome dream that you had to wake up from?? Well, that happened to me last night. I was dreaming that I was in a store with all these cute, cute, super cute clothes and they were having a sale and the prices were mainly under five dollars. I was having a super fun time! I was practically the only person in the store and was grabbing up everything that was in my size. And then all of the sudden I saw this amazing evening dress. It was a white, breezy halter top with black viney things flowing up the dress. Omg! It was sooo incredibly beautifully and the price was so beautiful too... It was on sale for ten dollars. Ten dollars!! *Sigh* So anywho, I get all these clothes together, walk into a dressing room, and... :-( then I woke up. I was so excited when I woke up and was like "oh wow...did that really happen?!" and yes, it hit me with a grave cold force that what I experienced was just a dream. Now I really want to go shopping and see if I can find some awesome deals like that. I can hope right? :-)

I tried looking on the Internet for a dress like it, but I couldn't find anything. So sad. I did however find this dress below and I am totally digging it. :-) What's the price you ask? Haha... $785.00. Yep. I just can't win. LoL.

I am Woman...Hear Me Rawr! :-P

So two weeks ago a dream I have always wanted to come true...came true!! Ever since I was a teen I have always wanted to have a tattoo, but that sort of thing was not accepted in our house so I tucked it away with my other postponed dreams. But for the past two years getting a tattoo has been more of a reality and I decided to let myself dream for that again. It may be a small thing to dream about to others, but I've begun to realize that dreams are something to be embraced no matter their size. I decided that whatever I wanted would have to be something I wouldn't get tired of seeing or embarrassed that it was on me or wasn't somehow a part of me. I wanted something special...unique...funky... something that I would be proud of because it was me. My search for the perfect ink seemed rather hopeless... I finally found a Celtic symbol I wanted, but it was missing something. I asked a friend of ours, Danny, if he would draw something for me.

A couple weeks later he brought me his work and I knew this was it. Suddenly everything rolled in. I found the tattoo, the money to get it was available, the tattoo parlor and tattoo artist was perfect match and voila! I got my first ink!

The Celtic symbol is best know for it being the trinity with a circle of unity wrapped around it... But it also symbolizes for me the past, present, and future moving and working together... it symbolizes equality... it symbolizes my complexity and uniqueness that branches out in beauty and constantly grows... it symbolizes my "rebellious" heart that fights to be different and special... it symbolizes my dreams... it symbolizes my femininity. I love my ink! Rawr!

Well a lot has been occurring during my absence on this little blog. :-) We have another addition to our family! Hermes Arnold. He is the cutest black kitty with several scattered white hairs and eyes that change from a hazel to light yellow. He is full of energy and full of love to give and receive. N calls him our "affection whore". Hahaha! He loves to be held like a baby every second and he squeaks and grunts in order to get our attention. I will be posting pics soon...I just have to download them off my camera.

Thalia is still trying to get used to him. Sometimes she appears to enjoy playing with him and other times she treats him with scorn. Back and forth they run...jumping, chasing, leaping, attacking. She runs after him and then a second later we'll see her running in the other direction with him close on her heels. Usually he'll jump on her back and down she goes hissing and growling at him. He'll jump off of her, but then a second later they'll be running again.

I think we have the cutest little family! :-D

Our living and dining room have undergone some changes lately. For our anniversary we decided to purchase new furniture from Ikea and re-decorate! I love Ikea! I really, really wish they would build one closer to us...then again if they did I might not leave. Heh. We gave away the recliners, dining room table/chairs, and threw away our futon. Now we have the cutest couch and N got his fav Ikea chair called the Poang and we have a new table with chairs we need to paint to match the table (long story there...lol). Our living room looks so cozy and intimate now. :-) I even re-arranged everything all by myself last weekend. I have a constant need to re-arrange/re-decorate rooms like every six months. It's rather fun!

Some other cool news in our life is that N designed a house for the Parade of Homes! I am sooo proud of him!! I believe the house is all finished and the furniture and last touches are being added before it opens next week. I can't wait to see what my hubby created! I really married the most creative and talented man alive!!

This year will be quite different for me. I started a new job that only requires me to work the weekends. I teach the preschoolers at CBC for all three services on Sunday and I will probably teach some on Saturday nights, but not very often. I have some stories already from the few weeks I've worked there. I'm glad it's only one to two days a week and only for a few hours. Those kids leave me worn out! Also this year I am a Leader-in-Training for Grace Groups at Harvest. Last night was my first night in group and while I am nervous, I am actually looking forward to this! Grace Groups is amazing and I definitely recommend it for everyone. We all have a story and we all need to be heard and this is a place where you can safely do so and receive grace for your wounds.

I'm so looking forward to this fall/winter! Hopefully I'll be more faithful to this blog...lol... I think I will. :-)

My "first" pie.

I made my first pie!! :-) Well... actually it's not my very first pie. When I was about 15 (most likely younger) I decided to try making a Cherry Pie. I can't remember if it looked good or if it even tasted good. I'm not a fan of pie so...yeah. Lol. Now many years later I am married to a man who likes pie a lot. I realized that while I have made him an ice cream pie I've never made him an actual oven baked, fruit-filled home style pie. How is it that we have been married for almost 2 years and I haven't tried to make him a pie?! Heh...like I said...I'm not a pie person. So I decided to search for a good recipe and make an apple pie for my sweetie pie (hehe...oh dear...that was a bit cheesy wasn't it!!).

I found a recipe for a flaky crust and the filling recipe called Swedish Apple Pie. It was a bit tricky. I get rather distracted while baking (or cooking for that matter) and have to double/triple check everything to make sure nothing goes wrong so it took a little bit longer than the recipe prep-time called for. I didn't know what "pretty" pie design to do for the top so I had to just make it up as I went a long. I wanted it to end up looking like it had flower petals forming a flower....haha....unfortunately it didn't quite end up looking like that. Oh well! :-)

N has enjoyed eating it. I have had to keep tabs on him and the pie so that I could make sure he wouldn't eat the whole thing in one sitting. The pie keeps getting smaller and smaller, but I haven't actually witnessed him eating lately which means only one thing. He is being sneaky and eating it when I am not looking so I don't ask "N how much pie have already had today?" or tell him "Babe...you can't eat pie for breakfast/lunch/dinner." Haha! He is soo cute! :-)

Here is my quirky, but very tasty (yes, I tried it!) Swedish Apple Pie.

My projects!

I've been feeling incredibly crafty and creative lately. It's awesome!! :-) It's fun and gives me something very productive to do while at home! I guess now I am a Domestic Goddess. Lol. I've been working on a few projects lately and have a few simmering "on the back burner". I recently finished a project N started when we lived at our first apartment. He found this glider out by the dumpster and being the genius he is, he saw great potential in it. It lived on our balcony for many months while N took it apart, sanded it down, and fixed all the little problems. It then was transported to our new apartment and the work continued. We even picked out a cushion for it! Of course like most fix-up projects it needed paint. It took a while before we were able to chose a color that would work in our home and reflected our style.

I haven't done a lot of painting in my time so I thought now would be a great and perfect experience! Who knew I was a perfectionist when it came to painting! Lol! It was a lot of fun paiting that chair. N helped me out a little with the painting, but I think he knew how much fun I was having with it so he stayed out of the way. :-) Now our beautiful glider is sitting in our living room! Thalia loves the glider!! Haha! She has made her claim on it and gives us rather mean looks when we try sitting on it. She's too cute!


Wow...I'm sitting here waiting for all my pic to download from the camera to my computer and it's taking forever. I really need to go through all the pics and delete some. :-) Ah! Here we go...






This past weekend H came over so we could make a diaper cake for a baby shower she was throwing. What's a diaper cake you ask? Well...umm...it's a "cake" made out of diapers. :-) Pretty much you roll diapers together place them in the shape of a cake and decorate with different things the mom-to-be and new baby will need. We decided that if someone was ever going to try to make one that we should warn that person that you will NEED 2 PEOPLE! Lol. They don't tell you how hard it is to put that thing together! I think we were rather proud of ourselves though! The cake was sooo cute!

The Adventures of Thalia pt. 1

Okay so I didn't think I was going to do 2 posts, but it seems that I have to!! :-) I found our precious cat Thalia licking the wall where our Christmas Tree used to be. Very strange...yes indeed...very strange.


Thalie-boo licking the wall...


This is her "oh no! they caught me!" look. :-)

First Rambling of the Year!

Right now I am sitting in my (half-clean) apartment in a dark room. Why? Well one: I find it easier to write in the dark and two: if I had the lights on I wouldn't be able to look out my "snow-flake" frosted window as well. Hmm...So I guess technically since the sunlight is coming in I'm not really in the dark am I? How about dimly lit room? Lol. :-)

Oh dear... There are two loads of laundry screaming obscenities at me. But...I figure that if I ignore them long enough they'll stop and maybe pop into the washer by themselves. Too much to ask right? :-) I finally took down all our Christmas decorations. Boo-hoo. I love setting up for Christmas!! I feel so incredibly sad when I have to put everything away. It's like saying good bye to a great house guest...a great house guest who brings a lot of happiness and warmth into your life...a great house guest who sadly will not come back until the end of the coming year. *Sigh* Goodbye Christmas. See you again in 11 months.

I'm really happy N is working with Matt this year. Kudos to my man for being a genius and kudos to his boss for hiring my genius! :-) It's very cool to see how excited N is about his work. Finally he can come home to me relaxed and full of stories about his job. And I am so happy is leaving work at 5pm instead of 5:30pm. What's the difference you ask? Well...umm...thirty minutes?! We were laughing just the other day about how we moved to this area so we would be closer to N's job and our (old) church and now almost a year later N has a new job and we have a new church and they are both located where we used to live! Hah! Oh well! We really like this place over here!

I'm still contemplating what to make for dinner. Usually on Thursdays we have Mac & Cheese. Yummy!! I found a recipe last night though that I really want to make. So maybe I could make it tonight and we can have our M&C tomorrow?? Oh! But I really want my Mac and Cheese! Augh! Curse my inability to make decisions! ;-)

Ooo...N should be out of work now! I think I shall call him and ask what he wants! There! Problem solved. :-)