It's almost 2010!!! :-D

Christmas...Oh Christmas... how beautiful are thy...umm...holidays?? Wow...lame. Haha. :-D I'm not so great making up lyrics.

Christmas has come and gone. My decorations are still up, but I feel that this holiday has been celebrated so well that I'm willing to put them away. N and I enjoyed a beautiful Christmas together. It felt so peaceful and loving and just...Christmasy. Even the kitties enjoyed Christmas! I think each Christmas that we share together gets more and more beautiful. N and I set up a we-don't-go-anywhere-on-Christmas-day rule and we are so glad we did. It lets us enjoy our day together and just relax and...play with our "toys". And when we have kids we can share that gift with them too. :-)

I don't really have much to blog here except that I can't wait to see what this new year brings. Next time I'll be blogging it'll be 2010. Wow! I feel old and sorta disappointed that we still don't have flying cars and cities under the sea. ;-P Happy New Year!

Our Presents!!

So apparently I'm not Snow White...

So I was talking with a friend of mine and she convinced me to write down my very traumatic experience. So I will. :-)

It was a week ago and I was doing the horrible job of laundry. I hate laundry by the way....it's one of the cons of being human. I had taken a break from my domestic duties to play YoVille and was rather immersed in baking and decorating for my little avatar when I got a phone call. My husby was coming out of work early! I realized that I had a load of laundry that needed to be switched over to the dryer (btw what happened to the 2000's being the super-age of robot technology??!! sigh.). So I decided I would do it before N came home rather than later...later=never.

I got up, walked out to our balcony (that's where the w/d is housed) and I closed the door. *Click*. I whirled around and to my horror I saw that when I had closed the sliding door, the safety bar had come down. Tears sprang to my eyes and I kept saying "no...no...no" very frantically while banging on the door. Oh...and to answer any questions, I did not have my phone on me and all I had on was a t-shirt and pair of jeans on. No phone, no socks, no jacket, No Way In. Tears were pouring down my face and I was banging on the door and shaking it and going crazy in my head and not in my head...I was just a crazy woman locked out of her warm, cozy apartment. To make matters worse, I had locked our dead bolt and now not only could I not get in the apartment, my husband could not get in on the other side either. Did I mention we live on the third floor and our apartment over looks an a wooded empty lot. Fear of heights and fear period was setting in at high levels.

I finally know what it feels like to be a cartoon character street urchin. Here I was with a tear-streaked face and shivering looking in on a warm Christmas-filled house. All the lights were off except for the twinkle lights and tree lights. The soft lights bounced off the furniture and ornaments, the nutcrackers smiled in the warmth, and the snowflakes hanging from the ceiling were gently swaying. It was beautiful. And made me cry even more. Suddenly my little cat, Hermes, realized that something was very, very wrong. He started squeaking very loudly, scratching at the glass door, and throwing his body on glass. Poor little guy. Finally I heard the door bell ringing. I started banging on the sliding door again.
*Ring Ring Ring* *Pause* *Ring Ring Ring*
This went on for awhile and then I heard a "Babe?". I ran to look over the balcony and there was my Knight in Shining Armor. He was able to throw his jacket and socks up so I could wear them while he got the handyman to help. Help=drilling a hole into the door to pop the deadbolt open. It makes my heart so happy that my Knight came to rescue me. So romantic! :-) I love you baby!

You know what the really sad thing is? Disney failed me. I mean I have my Prince Charming already and I don't need the perfect little body and big wavy hair...I don't even need the beautiful singing voice. Disney has never failed me. Until that day. Apparently I'm not good enough for the woodland creatures to rescue! Rude! Where were the birdies and squirrels and deers to help get me down...or at least sing me a cute woodland song to calm my nerves while I waited. Apparently I'm not Snow White...and woodland creatures don't love me. Oh Disney...why did you fail me? I have loved your movies since I was a little girl... I have been a faithful Disney watcher... Why me? I still love you Disney... but you'll have to find a way to redeem yourself from this incident.

He can't wait...neither can I!

I was watching The Answer Man and while it was a rather forgettable movie (except for Lauren Graham...she is never forgettable...i love her!!) there were several quotes that stood out at me. I'll probably post them later, but there is one in particular that continues to move my heart and I wanted to blog about it.
Background: The two main characters, Lauren Graham and "The Answer Man" are having dinner and she starts to go to shame while sharing a piece of her story.

LG: "What do you want to hear? That I'm so freaked. That I'm not doing everything I can. That I'm so freaked out all the time? That I'm afraid that I'm not doing enough and that fear is turning me into someone I don't want to be and I can't stop it. You have no idea what it's like to be pulled all the time...by this idea that I am not doing enough. That I am not enough."

TAM: "He knows. And He wants you to know that you are enough and so much more. You are here so that God can experience the world through your eyes. See what you see. Feel what you feel. Everyday He can't wait to see what you'll do. What makes you laugh. What moves you. He can't wait. Everyday through you He falls in love with the world all over again. ...You are His muse."

His answer to her still brings tears to my eyes. It reminds me of what a great God I have. It speaks volumes of His love for me. What an amazing God I have that He loved me before I was born. He loved me when I was born. He loved me when I was lost and then found. He is loving me on my journey. He "can't wait to see what [I'll] do." He wants to see what I see, and feel it with me, He wants to laugh with me and cry with me. He can't wait. He can't wait to live life with me. And no matter how small I feel or how much I let my fears run over me He is there every morning. He is there to greet me in the morning and invite me to live with Him. My life is beauty to Him.

He can't wait...neither can I. :-)

The picture above is a reminder of a "beauty moment". I remember running along the beach, laughing, kicking up the sand, collecting little nick-nacks along the way, running into the water and back out again...etc. I remember seeing lots of these duney things (yes, I have dubbed them "duney things") and wanting to run up one, but my fear of heights keeping me from doing it. Finally after my playful heart kept longing to run up one I decided to "screw" my fear and "just do it". I took off and ran as fast as I could and gave a loud "YES!!" when I was at the top.

I was standing on top of my fear and looking out on the most beautiful beach scenery I hadn't been able to enjoy from ground level. I stood there with the biggest smile on my face just taking it all in. There is a scene in a favorite movie of mine called "Fearless" where a small Chinese village would stop planting their rice when the wind would blow and stand up straight, close their eyes, open their arms, and breathe it all in. It's a beautiful scene that has always stayed in my heart and so there in that moment I closed my eyes, stretched out my arms and breathed in the salty freshness. Beauty. This picture was taken some time during all this. It's a good "beauty moment" for me. A moment I don't ever want to forget.