Today was my second day back to school. It's so strange to think that after almost four years I'm back. I always hoped to go back, but my mind realistically speaking thought that probably wouldn't happen. And yet, during the same week that I am about to turn 25, I am back! And all because my husband refused to let me give up on my dream. *insert happy smile*
There is so much different this time around. So much. And that's what makes it even more awesome...
And I am so hungry to learn!
I feel giggly when I think about it all. Don't ask why... it just does. Haha!
I was definitely nervous when I walked through campus to my building, but it all just slowly sunk it. I'm not the awkard, frizzy haired kid with a visible top retainer, no make-up, and roller backpack that would let anyone in a five mile radius know I was coming. I'm not naive and desperate for anything and everything. I'm not wearing stupid hose all day. I'm not in a major I hate. I'm not exhausted, lonely, or angry. I'm not starving myself because at least then I have the skinny body I see on the pretty, skinny girls. I'm not in tears because my teachers have once again reminded me bluntly that I don't have the skill required to be in that major. I'm not sitting in the first row.
I sit close to the front, but in a place where feels comfortable...usually the middle. I'm eating and I love to eat and I bring lunch with me since I'm there during lunch time. I'm alert in classes, happy, eager, and definitely not feeling lonely! I'm studying Psychology (finally!!!). I'm aware of the world around me and my heart is full. I have a plain black backpack with my "Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes" pin (that I got on vacation) smack dab in the middle. Oh! And my hair is super short and has purplish tones in it right now.
And did I mention I'm studying Psychology?! Hahaha I'm so excited!!
I love being back at school. The years have changed me...and have made me ready to grab hold of this new chapter with great passion!
My first day going to Kindergarten!
My first day going to Northwest Vista
My first day Back to school!! Can you tell I'm excited?! Hahah!
I've always wanted Dorothy shoes ever since I watched Wizard of Oz as a little girl. Now I have them. Well...I have some that I can't actually wear lol. I've been trying to make my own Halloween decorations ahead of time and I saw a picture over at Pinterest that was a DIY Wicked Witch leg's & ruby slippers. Okay...so I have the patience for some things, but not for all of that so I grabbed an old pair of heels that are too small for me, bought red glitter and starting on my shoes. I'm pretty sure I ingested a crap load of glitter after all this was done!
Sigh. I love them! If I hadn't painted the inside of the shoes black (they were a weird greyish plaid color before) and if the shoes weren't too small then I would totally be wearing these...like everyday. :-) One Halloween decoration is done...now only five hundred more to complete. Haha!
There have been two Disney movies that have connected with me my almost 25 years. Everyone I know loves Belle, Ariel, Jasmine...and the other gals, but my two favorite have always been Cinderella and Mulan.
Back when I was little I used to watch Cinderella religiously. I had all her songs memorized and when I was cleaning up...when I was getting dressed...when I was sewing...I saw myself as her...dreaming and waiting. I used to close my eyes and hope that when I opened them again my Fairy Godmother would be there singing and a beautiful dress would be swirling around me. I even learned all the songs on the piano and would play them over and over again while singing and looking out the dining room window where our piano was positioned. I'd always remember "have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will smiling through...no matter how your heart is grieving...if you keep on believing...the dream that you wish will come true." No one could order me to stop dreaming.
One a sillier note I always wanted a cat like Lucifer...and I got one. :-)
And when Nate and I had our first kiss back when we were dating (and what an freaking awesome kiss was that?! yumm!) and I waltzed back inside my house and into my room...I kid you not...I literally was singing softly to myself "So this is love".
I have two copies of Cinderella. One my mom bought me...the other I stole from my grandmother because her cover was newer. I'm not proud I was a little thief...but it was Cinderella...
Then another movie came out and I saw it a million times in theater. I even had a Mulan birthday party.
Here was girl (and she had black hair just like me!!) who was insecure, but was hoping and struggling to be herself...to find who she was. A girl who chose a hard path to prove herself a worthy woman. A woman who could fight along with the boys and still be so tender and beautiful. And...she got her "prince" at the end too...
I know people make fun of the Reflection song, but that song still to this day makes me tear up. It pulls at something so deep inside of me...and as a girl struggling to keep dreaming and who had no clue who she was...that song was written for my little heart. As silly as it might be, I would sing it in the mirror hoping that at that moment maybe...just maybe...my reflection would show who I was inside...
I not only had a favorite princess who encouraged me to dream passionately, but a warrior princess (she's a princess in my opinion!) who fought valiantly with strength, courage, and beauty.
I plan on watching these two movies with my little girls someday...and even reading to them about the real Fau Mulan.
So I've loved these movies...each so different, but perfectly connectable to my heart. I seriously have thought no other Disney movie could share a spot with these two... Until...
This week...I watched Tangled. I had heard it was good, but I'm "grown up" now and if I'm going to do animated movies...well...no one can hold a candle the old school movies and now to Pixar. But it was on Netflix for Instant viewing so I thought "Why not?!". Seriously, by the end of the movie, I was in tears. Another movie princess crept in and tugged at me. Love, Adventure, Dreaming.
There were so many places that connected to my story. I found myself laughing at Rapunzel when she did things that reminded me of her and tearing up when things happened to her that happened to me. Of course I have no idea what it's like to have golden, long ass hair, but that's neither here nor there lol.
I've now watched it twice. Once by myself and tonight again with N. Even he liked it! And this scene, even the second time around, brings tears to my eyes. {Hmm...well I tried to embed it, but it won't work so please...please click on the link and watch it! I think it's so beautiful and tear worthy...but that's just me...}
Now I have three favorite princesses. Three to share with my future little princesses. I can see us having a "war" outside and fighting like Mulan or having tea while Cinderella sweetly sings or curled up, drinking hot chocolate while Rapunzel shows us that adventure is out there for us. And really, just three to remind myself that you're never too old to have three favorite princesses...
And what's even better...they were all right...my prince did come. Guess Disney knows what they were talkin' about. :-)
My whole life I've always written little stories. Some I finished. Most I left unfinished. They range from Edgar Allen Poe inspired stories, hobbit adventures, southern belles, super-villains, etc. One of my cheesy favorites was written back when I graduated from high school. It was during my Adrian Brody crush-a-thon. :-) I remember reading an interview he gave to some magazine...well...I'm not sure I was reading it as much as I was drooling over his pictures. Haha! And suddenly I had the urge to write... I grabbed a sticky pad and jotted down: "high and delicate cheekbones framing a strong nose and baleful eyes that peer out from under a pale brow with just a trace of mild amusement" Can you tell how in love I was? Hahahaha!
Well today I thought I would share my little story. Don't laugh...haha...okay you can laugh. I admit...I can be quite obsessive! Don't expect anything amazing...I am by no means good at writing!
Mystery Man
"As I was standing on the corner of 5th and Broadway an unnatural mist settled on the surprisingly relaxed paced street of New York. I had nothing to do that night and decided to watch the variety of people passing by my doorsteps. There were socialites, social climbers, reporters, musicians, politicians, junkies and 'women of the night'. There were so many people I could write about, but amazingly I wasn't interested in any of them.
Then when I was about to give up hope and go back inside, I changed my mind. Across the street stood a man by whom I was inspired to write. dressed in an Armani suit with a fedora slouched across one side of his jet black hair. He leaned against a street lamp and lit a cigarette. He had high and delicate cheekbones framing a strong nose and baleful eyes that peer out from under a pale brow with just a trace of mild amusement that danced in those enchanting eyes. For a moment I was lost in time just looking at him, but quickly came back to earth when I noticed him looking at me.
I felt embarrassed and hoped he hadn't noticed how long I was staring at him. A smile played on his face and he winked at me. Then slowly he turned away, climbed into a cab, and drove off into the starry night. I went inside and quickly began to write. Never again would I see a man like him and I probably would never see him again, but his memory would be with me forever. " by: M. Arnold - 2004
