"As soon as you stop thinking about it, then it happens."
It's something people offer others in order to be "helpful". It's one of those annoying placating phrases that they say when they have nothing else to offer.
I've noticed that the only people who say it are those who already have what the other person is longing for or they can't even possibly understand because they don't have it. Regardless it's always said by someone who hasn't ever felt that ache. I have never heard someone who is in the tension and feeling the ache ever offer those words to another in their situation.
Wonder why?
Because those are shitty words that make a person feel shame because their ache is too deep to just "stop thinking" about it.
I wish I could just stop thinking about wanting to have baby. I wish I could stop thinking about the fact that I have been trying for almost a year to get pregnant without any success. I wish I could stop feeling this overwhelming sadness and ache. I wish I could stop thinking about how badly I want to be a mother. I wish I stop feeling the ache every time I see the babies in my family and my friend's babies. I wish I could stop.
According to that phrase then maybe I will become pregnant if I just stop thinking about trying to get pregnant. Wow. My mind is blown.
If only it were that easy.
If only people would stop and think, "What if I were in their position? How would my heart feel if those words were offered to me?"
