Mother's Day is coming up very quickly and I am sitting in another batch of emotions from another failed pregnancy attempt. 

Today I was thinking once again about how this might be my new reality. The reality where I never get pregnant and never get to experience everything I've dreamed of. The reality of where my friends will get pregnant and have babies and I'll have to be "happy" for them. The reality of those uncomfortable conversations that result in the "I'm pregnant and I didn't want you to find out from somewhere else.". The reality where all my sister-in-laws have had and are having the experience of providing grandchildren to the grandparents.  The reality of when family pictures are taken there are new babies every time except for mine. 

I don't like these realities. 

They just make me hurt inside. 

I want a happier reality.

Maybe someday I'll get a better reality, but until then these are the only realities in front of me.